If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
