The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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