Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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