my sisters under your porch take her home
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
