Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I can tuck mytits in my pants
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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