I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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