Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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