You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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