areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
