I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
