Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
