Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize