Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
