don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
