The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
