I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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