So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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