i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
