Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
