the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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