Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
