It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
