why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
