when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize