I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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