I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
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he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
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She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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