You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
