We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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