how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
