Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
