real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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