Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
