Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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