She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
