we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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