FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
