Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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