I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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