At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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