if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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