Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
