Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
