Whoa Z and x make the same sound
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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