The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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