Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
