i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
