I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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