Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
