He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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