did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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