we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The feeling are messing with the penis
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
