I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
