ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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