shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
