Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize