even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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