the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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