I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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