Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
