Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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