and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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