first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
