dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
